Chapter 20 of my latest story is just about done. I had a nice time writing it and this chapter definately picks up with the action. Action scenes aren’t always easy for me to write. At least not convincingly. What I will say about what I learned from others is that they need to be pacy. Too many descriptions can weigh a good scene down. Keeping the sentences brief and flowing are key.
At the same time brief descriptions may be needed especially in the beginning when you are setting up the scene or are describing what’s going on. To make the action somewhat believable I find it helpful to visualize the scene in your head so you capture each movement made by the characters.
In the latest chapter, Troy meets the rest of his teammembers and for the first time, the truth about Octavius’ absence from the team is explained. Meanwhile Troy ends up crossing paths with a girl who suddenly finds herself surrounded by no good thugs. Troy finds himself in a whirlwind of peril as he tries to defend the girl. Here’s an excerpt…
“Mother will love this,” she smiled to a mature woman alongside her. The woman’s white stolla seemed to pale in comparison to the sky blue of the girl’s peplos, which was fastened by silver broaches on each shoulder. The girl wrapped a deep blue shawl around her bare shoulders and bid the woman to hold her other belongings while she looked around at the other booths. As I opened my mouth, I faltered. The words never left my tongue. I missed my chance. She walked right past without saying a single word. She sauntered past Clitus and my horse and towards the narrow passage between the high rise insulaes that lined the street.
But she was not alone.
A young male trailed behind her unbeknownst to her. Just then two more boys emerged from the alley. I watched anxiously by the clothes stand as the girl nervously tried to close the lid on her straw basket.
“What do you got there, girl?” one of the boys asked, as he walked towards. He reached out and grabbed the handle of her basket. She resisted, pulling the basket closer to her bosom. In defiance he yanked her basket once more from her tight grasp.
“Let go of my basket!” she hissed as she turned on her heels. Her thin nose bumped against the upper chest of the taller fellow stalking from behind. He looked much older than the other boys that circled around. Their eyes lay fixed on her. Her face grew deathly pale as they circled in closer and closer. She was surrounded. She looked back helplessly at the woman who trembled on the sidelines looking on. Flustered she tried to push against the smaller boy as she tried to break free. His long arms jerked her back, pulling her closer to his body. She tried to move to his right…
-Read on here!